Calm the storm: ways to overcome overthinking

Overcoming ruminating thoughts, especially uncomfortable memories, can be challenging, but with some mindful techniques, you can shift your focus and regain peace. Here are some strategies:

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Question whether the situation was really as uncomfortable as you remember. Often, we exaggerate our perceived mistakes or assume others noticed more than they did. Ask yourself, “How would I feel if someone else did this?” This can help put things into perspective.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that everyone experiences embarrassing moments. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Recognize that these moments don’t define you.

3. Use Mindfulness Techniques: Mindfulness helps bring your attention back to the present moment rather than being trapped in past thoughts. Try grounding techniques, such as deep breathing or focusing on your surroundings to shift attention. Try to rethink a situation forces it to live in your mind when the situation has passed, your thoughts is making it alive when it’s done and dusted 

4. Limit the “What If” Cycle: Catch yourself when you start thinking “What if I’d done it differently?” Instead, shift your focus to a specific positive or neutral event in your day. Practicing this can gradually reduce the intensity of these ruminations

5. Redirect to Something Positive: Substitute the thought with a positive memory or a future goal. Every time the uncomfortable thought pops up, consciously replace it with something uplifting.

6. Use Humor: If possible, try laughing at yourself or reframing the memory in a funny way. Seeing the humor in the situation can make it feel less serious and more manageable over time.

7. Practice Letting Go: Remind yourself that it’s okay to let the memory pass without trying to “fix” it. Embrace the idea that, while you can’t change the past, you have control over how much attention you give it.

8.  Redirect Thoughts with Purpose: Try turning the thought into a reminder of what you’re working toward. For instance, instead of reliving the moment, use it to inspire you to improve in that area or embrace moments of learning. If your mind drifts back to it, think, “How can I make this work for me?”

9. Why Is It Upsetting? Ego’s Role in uncomfortable situations 

Often, our discomfort with uncomfortable moments stems from a bruised ego. We want to be seen a certain way—confident, capable, likable. When something challenges that image, it can feel as if our identity is under attack. Recognizing that this is ego-driven can help. Ask, “Is my reaction coming from a need for approval or perfection?” Acknowledging this can shift your perspective and allow you to move beyond it.